


Tricksters Unite!

by Rinbin



Series: Yer a Wizard...and a Phantom Thief [5]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Gen, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes, where else would akira spend his time let's be real
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-27
Updated: 2017-06-27
Packaged: 2018-11-19 21:21:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 648
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11321985
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rinbin/pseuds/Rinbin
Summary: Fred and George have a favorite customer. They've started calling him Joker.





	Tricksters Unite!

**Author's Note:**

> PROMPT: Akira becoming a VIP client of WWW with how many prank items he buys for the Thieves.

“Ah! A favorite customer!”

“ _The_ favorite customer!”

“And, currently, the only!”

They say the last line together, in-sync like always. Akira looks up at them from the tops of his glasses, body bent toward a new display of prank products. He smiles slightly.

“Gentlemen,” he says, regarding them.

“‘Ello,” George says smiling, leaning on Fred’s shoulder, “What’ll it be today, boss?” 

Akira rubs his chin thoughtfully. “I haven’t decided yet, but I need something good. Something messy.” Akira thinks about the cross-house picnic Ann has planned–not the first of its kind, but enough of his friends don’t belong to the same house that it’s causing a bit of a stir amongst the other students–and smiles wickedly. Yes, something messy would do nicely. 

“Well, messy’ll be over here,” Fred instructs, waving an arm to another area of the shop. “We got Wet Weather, Whizz Poppers, Otters Fizzy Orange Juice–”

“Hold on a minute, Fred,” George says, lifting a finger into the air, “Let’s consult the books, shall we? We don’t want to sell our best customer something he’s already used!”

“Nothing worse than a joke told for the second time,” Fred agrees, turning towards Akira, “Gets stale that way, y’know.” 

Akira follows the twins dutifully through the store until they arrive at the shop’s main counter. Fred slides behind it and produces a rather large–in fact, comically large–book from underneath. When he opens it, the font is impossibly tiny.

“Akira Kurusu,” George whispers into the pages. They flip quickly before opening on what must be Akira’s shopper profile. Fred drags his fingers down the page before tutting to himself.

“It appears he’s already done most of what we sell!” 

“Well, well,” George muses, “it must be time to promote him.”

“Promote?” Akira asks. George flicks his wand in the air and produces a small, plastic card with the letters VIP printed on it. He plucks it out of the air and hands it to Akira, who takes it delicately, fearful of what it might do.

“Welcome to the WWW VVV III PPP club!” Fred says.

“So nice you gotta say it thrice!” 

Akira flips the card over. “VIP: Virtuous Intelligent Prankster” it reads, but suddenly the words shimmer over. Akira blinks twice; the card now reads “VIP: Very Into Poop.” 

When Akira looks up at them, Fred beams. “That was my touch,” he says. 

“Truth be told, joker, you’re our first VIP!” George reveals. Akira’s eyebrows raise.

“Really?”

“Yeah, we didn’t really have anything set up for it, but you’re in here almost every day so we figured we should reward you somehow.”

“And what’s my reward?” Akira asks, eyes glinting. Fred and George meet his gaze with their own mischievous look.

“Our experimental products,” Fred says, leaning forward. George nods vigorously. “Ron is good for the human trials–”

“–safety is a big concern, you know,” George interrupts.

“–but we would like to see how the public reacts before we mass produce. If a joke won’t land, we want to know before we send it out there.”

Akira can appreciate the intent behind this and pockets the card. “Sure, sounds like a fair trade off to me. Got anything in the works that’s messy?” 

Fred smiles evilly, “There is _one_ product we were thinking of asking you to test. It’s call Food Frenzy, and it-”

“I’ll take it,” Akira cuts him off. Fred’s jaw drops a little.

“You didn’t even hear what it did.”

Akira shrugs, “Do I need to? I _am_ buying from a Weasley after all. The name carries a certain amount of…” and Fred and George both size up instinctively, ready for the insult that never comes, “…respect,” Akira finishes. The twins’ shoulders drop slightly, exhaling. 

“By George,” Fred says, smiling pulling at his lips, “I do think I _like_ a Slytherin.”

“By Fred, I didn’t think it possible,” George says, bewildered.

**Author's Note:**

> again lil shorty but do you really expect me to believe akira wouldn't be prank king


End file.
